SUb and forget about wallyworld unless you are going in as a union organizer.
Take a couple hours and read Nickle and Dimed about working at wallyworld. It is very real. and you are better off prepping for what you really want to do.
If you can't get a part time job that fits, just pick up more of the cooking and cleaning than Marcie does. Make her life easier, and make bioth of you happier.

You have to decide what is most important to you money or time with the one you love. If you are wanting to teach you would be wise to take the para job. Maybe you could sell your bike or something else. Have you thought about tutoring? Good Luck!

We must have been seperated at birth. I have been out of work since May for a spinal fusion. Just returned to p/t duty...20 hours a week. I have no hope of being able to work more for quite a while. The wife works f/t.

Aside from the medical bills pouring in, we are way behind in everything and have had to borrow from family. I WISH I could work 2 jobs. I have been where you are, pre-surgery, and it was at this time of year. My advice, based on experience...bite the bullet. Get through the holidays and tell yourself, it's not forever. I beleive 'anything' done for the right reasons will work out, and all the other stuff will as well. The hours may suck, and seeing her may be hard to squeeze in, but you will appreciate it when it's all done. More importantly, so will she.

I puulled graveyard at a Cstore to get through the holidays and pay bills. It was worth it. The holidays were good. And I was able to walk away and find a job I liked afterwards.

Good luck!!

Warning: Brutal Honesty to follow.

I can't understand how you can let this woman, who you won't even propose to because of some indescribable foot dragging, pay your way. You are getting nearly a free ride here. What is she getting?

You guys are looking at houses. Homes that SHE WILL BUY.

Be a man.

Do what it takes to support yourself. Even if it means lowering yourself. Even if it means not having much free time or time alone with Marcie.

If you guys aren't getting married and there are no jobs in your town, why are you living with her? You guys' situation just baffles me. Why is Marcie putting up with this?

Don't you feel worthless? I mean, c'mon. You're paying for your expensive toy, and she's paying your rent, paying for your food, your necessities. Gah.

All I can say is be a man. Do what it takes.

I realize this is probably very offensive to you, and I hate being so harsh because I generally think you're a decent guy, but there's just no sugar coating the way I see this.

PS - Sell the damn bike.

Since the ridiculous sum that it requires to maintain that motorcycle comes directly out of the household expenses, (OUR bills) Marcie is paying just as much for that bike as you are.

I never said your comments werent welcome on here. I have alot to reply to, but I have an interview in a while so Ill reply later on this afternoon/ tonight. When I said her bills...I just meant the bills she is paying. We arent married and we pay our own individiual bills seperately on our own. Like...I dont pay for her loans, she doesnt pay for mine. Marcie also doesnt pay a cent for the bike or any cost related to it (possibly storage...but 75% of the stuff we have in there is school and furniture stuff.) I told her from day one that I didnt want her paying for the bike...because its something that I bought for us...its not her responsibility. Granted, in Vegas when we both had the same jobs...we payed the bills pretty much down the line, although she also paid for insurance for the cars. The only reason she is paying most of them now is because she has the money...its not something I enjoy...she deserves to have extra $$ on her own as well. I want to get a second job so I can help out with the fnances.

More to reply on later on.

Take a couple hours and read Nickle and Dimed about working at wallyworld

well I think I actually did read that book in college. Also...why would I want to be associated with any union? Im half and half on unions. On one side, they do a good job in fighting for workers rights and all that jazz, and on the other, they keep people who should not be working for that company. I read in last months readers digest of some teachers that districts tried to fire because they failed to meet some qualification tests...the unions fought tooth and nail to keep them and I dont think thats right..

I can't understand how you can let this woman, who you won't even propose to because of some indescribable foot dragging, pay your way. You are getting nearly a free ride here. What is she getting?You guys are looking at houses. Homes that SHE WILL BUY. Be a man.

Wow...what a load.

For one...our relationship isnt any of our business. Marcie doesnt even bother to reply, or at least she tries not to, to such comments because its not worth a reply. Its our relationship, not yours.

She isnt paying my way...she is paying most of the bills because she is the one that gets most of the money. If I could afford it...Id pay more of the bills, but I simply cant.

Also...we both agreed that if one of us got hired, wed move...in this case she got hired and I didnt. If the situation was reversed, and I was working while she didnt have a full time job...Id be paying most of the bills. Im helping out as much as I can, by paying what I can...or transferring money to her account so she can take care of them. While in Vegas and we both had the same paying jobs...we split the bills pretty much down the middle as far as I can remember. She paid for the cars insurance, but I think I paid for a couple extra bills on my side...etc. Dont sit there and think that I enjoy her spending all of her income on bills.

As far as the house...we both want to buy a house...but she is the one that is doing all of the looking for it. I think that just for financial reaons (or possibly other?), she just wants the house in her name. I dont know...we havent even talked about why she wants to do that. Id much rather get a house instead of living in an apartment, but Im not looking that much because we arent in that good of a financial situation.

Do what it takes to support yourself. Even if it means lowering yourself. Even if it means not having much free time or time alone with Marcie.

Uh, this is what Im in the process of doing. I applied at WM and Home Depot and I was going to apply at Target and Shop Ko as well. I dont consider working there lowering myself as I dont think those jobs are low. My (our) main concern is that if Im working more, that will mean less time with each other; thats where the issue is. Kind of hard for a relationship to get stronger when you arent around each other that much.

If you guys aren't getting married and there are no jobs in your town, why are you living with her? You guys' situation just baffles me. Why is Marcie putting up with this?

Because we want to be together? Because we love each other? Who says we arent getting married...outside of whatever you may think? I just havent proposed. Period. Dont try and make up little..whatever you think reasons behind it..thats it...I havent proposed.

Don't you feel worthless? I mean, c'mon. You're paying for your expensive toy, and she's paying your rent, paying for your food, your necessities. Gah.

Like I said before...I dont like the idea of her paying most of the bills, but if the situation was reversed and I was the one teaching and she was doing sub work or whatever..wed be in the same situation...only Id be paying most of the bills and she was doing what she could to help out. But, I dont see you having a tiff if that was the case for some odd reason.

What would happen to you guys right now if Marcie got sick or hurt and was unable to work at all for a few months?

Well her insurance would cover it for some amount of time. Outside of that, well yeah..wed probably be in a bad spot. But even with us both working full tims jobs..wed be in a tough spot.

its going to relieve you of bike loan #1 and #2 and the full coverage insurance payments, which I'm sure are ungodly expensive.

Im replying about the bike below. As far as insurance...I get big time coverage for 40 a month.

Also, if your cars are paid off and more than 5 years old, consider dropping full coverage and taking liability only. If one of them is ever severely damaged in an accident, that full coverage does not necessarily pay to repair it. More likely they will "total it out" and pay you blue book value only

Right...I think we are thinking about doing this. We both have cars that are 96's and Marcie has them on full coverage beause at least we would get the cars book value back. I dont remember how much she is paying for the car insurance. We have been thinking about keeping both cars and just using one to drive around and stuff...insuring only that...still need to talk abou it more though.

PAY OFF THAT CREDIT CARD. Make at LEAST twice the minimum monthly payment and quit using it except for dire emergencies. The interest will eat you alive and the balance counts against your debt to income ratio.

Yeah..Im trying to take care of it as its a big thorn in my side. I told my mom I needed a new card and the bank thought I meant a new visa credit card so they sent me that...I ended using it for a couple of things and yeah..it did get out of control. The credit card and one of my bike loans are big reasons why I want to get a job because they arent shrinking and i want to pay them off asap.

I understand what you are saying as far as splitting the bills down the middle and this is pretty much what we did in Vegas, as far as I can remember.

THE BIKE.
ok...hmm...not sure how to answer this here as I fully understand that it is taking away money that could be used elsewhere.

I started riding motorcycles after someone got me interested. My mom and her bf (at the time) rode on his motorcycle. It was just something they did together. He got me hooked by letting me drive all of his motorcycles and I had a blast. I ended up getting a small dinky bike and I drove it all over. That just didnt work though...large 330lb man on a 100cc bike looks rather silly. So...I ended up getting a 78 Gold Wing. I love that bike and thoroughly enjoy riding it. Its old...and when it runs good...it rides great and I enjoy being outside and riding..seeing the country, scenery, riding with groups...making friends...etc.

When I met Marcie, we started riding after a while. She enjoys it too, I believe (we dont talk about it because she feels the same way many of yo do on here, wants me to tell the new bike.) After moving to Vegas...the bike I had was older and while that wasnt really an issue in and of itself...the problem was that is kept breaking down and I couldnt afford to fix it at 100 bucks an hour. Also...I wanted something with more power that could easily move around with both of us. I wanted something more comfortable for both of us and something that had a smoother ride so it would be more enjoyable for her as well. I was hoping to be able to upgrade and get a newer (not brand new) bike. We couldnt find any used GL1500's because...nobody really brings them in to the dealer to sell...its more of a thing where you know someone who is looking for a used GW. So...we started looking at the GL1800's out of curiosity and I dont think we intended to buy one. But...we kept talking about it and we thought we could make it work and the numbers were higher for payments than what I thought, but we still thought we could make it work so we got it.

Now...I bought the bike for many reasons...the main one being that I was hoping Marcie and I could to a lot of traveling on it. It was my intention to get a trailer for it so we could haul any luggage...etc. behind it and see the sights. I figured that we could go camping which is something Id like to try out and go alot of places and just use that instead of a car. It was something I hope we could both do together as a couple. Its not the only thing we do together, but it was something I was hoping we could both enjoy together. Its also something I really enjoy and if I sold the bike now...I dont know when Id ever be able to have one again.

GRANTED, there are important things out there, like buying a house, starting a family and everything...but the bike is something for us to enjoy on our own. Ok..hmm thats not what I want to say either; I guess its just that the bike is a thing that we can use to get away and do something together and relax.

Let me make this point clear. I like the bike. I love Marcie. I do not put the bike in a higher place than her. At the same time...I dont want to sell it because if I do...I dont know when we will be able to get one again. If I have to sell it...then I will in order to help us out...but Id rather get a part time job as well so I can make everything work out and all, but if I do, that means less time with Marcie....argh.

I guess Im stuck in a catch 22. I know what you guys are saying and that selling it would alleviate many concerns we have financially. But...I dont really know if you can see how I feel in my situation. Its hard for me to describe my whole side over here.

You can argue the fuzzy personal benefits to a bike all you want. You can say how it's a getaway tool, a source of entertainment etc... However, you're in a rather serious financial crisis here where you're essentially spending all of your money on a "fun" item, leaving Marci to cover all the living expenses and necessities. This is placing undue stress on her as she has to suffer along with you for this non-essential item.

When it comes down to necessities (food, rent, clothing) versus fun (bike, movies, broadband internet etc) the necessities should always take precedence. You need to cut out the "fun" until the equation comes out more favorable. If you have a car, the bike is NOT needed to take trips or go camping. Motorcycles are not utility items.

When managing finances, the first step is ALWAYS to find ways to reduce your expenses to the bare minimum. Once you have your spending under control and are on track to eliminate debt, the next step is to look to ways to supplement your income (OK, these two can be done in parallel, but you HAVE to do the expense reduction, it's not an option) If you're smart about how you handle this, it won't be long until you're in a situation where you can actually afford the bike. But remember that the bike can NOT be a priority in future planning. It's a toy, and toys get put on the "when we have extra money and we don't have anything remotely useful to spend it on.

You like the bike, but so far you haven't been able to articulate a real need for it. If you don't need it, get rid of it and start being smarter with your money.

Ziggy:

For one...our relationship isnt any of our business. Marcie doesnt even bother to reply, or at least she tries not to, to such comments because its not worth a reply. Its our relationship, not yours.

You've made it my (and the entire blogosphere) business by posting about it and making it a component of this very article. You can't bitch when YOU brought it up. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

Marcie can say what she likes about it. She's previously complained, at length, about how much it hurts her that you won't just propose and marry her and be done with it. If she's had a change of heart, then she should feel free to let us all in on it.

Also...we both agreed that if one of us got hired, wed move...in this case she got hired and I didnt.

In other words, she's getting ALL the down sides of being married without most of the benefits. If she's happy with that, that's cool. From recent posts of hers, however, it doesn't seem like she's cool with it.

Listen, I won't pass judgment on a househusband or stay-at-home-dad. I think that's fine. It's a different choice. But that's not you guys' situation.

How would you feel if your sister or mother were working her ass off while some guy who wouldn't marry her shacked up with her and let her pay his bills and essentially the only thing he paid for was his precious expensive motorcycle?

Dont sit there and think that I enjoy her spending all of her income on bills.

If you don't enjoy it, then do something about it. This article is a foot-dragging, indecisive one. Just buck up. Sometimes you have to do sucky stuff to get through hard times. Sometimes you have to be away from the people you care about so that you can meet your obligations and care for them.

People live these hard lives and make these hard decisions everyday.

I dont know...we havent even talked about why she wants to do that.

Probably because there is no commitment or income coming from you. If Marcie wants a house, cool. But her buying a house (to your specifications) alone and then allowing you to live in it without marrying her or contributing is likely to build up resentment in her. Be forewarned.

Uh, this is what Im in the process of doing. I applied at WM and Home Depot and I was going to apply at Target and Shop Ko as well.

Why did you post this article, then? You have a definite way to contribute: take the two jobs and sell the bike. Are you too good to be working like that? Too smart? Too educated? Are you too precious to be away from your girlfriend?

I think you're being far too sensitive in your decision-making. You must do what it takes.

My (our) main concern is that if Im working more, that will mean less time with each other; thats where the issue is. Kind of hard for a relationship to get stronger when you arent around each other that much.

Food on the table is more important than fuzzy relationship feelings. Further, you may have all the time in the world at home to spend with Marcie, but if the burden of providing for herself and you rests on her, it is going to damage your relationship, not strengthen it.

Because we want to be together? Because we love each other?

It was my understanding that you two, being devoutly religious, decided to shack up out of financial simplicity and necessity in Las Vegas. If you want, I can look up the stats for couples who live together before marriage. It's not pretty.

Who says we arent getting married...outside of whatever you may think? I just havent proposed. Period. Dont try and make up little..whatever you think reasons behind it..thats it...I havent proposed.

I didn't make up any reasons. Everything I've posted has been based on what you and Marcie have shared.

Like I said before...I dont like the idea of her paying most of the bills, but if the situation was reversed and I was the one teaching and she was doing sub work or whatever..wed be in the same situation...only Id be paying most of the bills and she was doing what she could to help out. But, I dont see you having a tiff if that was the case for some odd reason.

It's not a tiff, Ziggy, although it may make you feel better to label it that way. Look, I've kept my mouth (keyboard) shut for a long time now about you guys. I think you're doing Marcie a HUGE disservice and often I think it's akin to emotional abuse.

You don't want my opinion, feel free to blacklist me.

I'm telling you these things because I DO care. Otherwise I wouldn't feel so strongly about it. I'm not intentionally trying to be mean. Just honest.

I know I don’t know you but I do hope this will give you something to think about. The answers to all this shows where you priorities are. You don’t share the bills fairly, you don’t give up your boy toy because that is what you love the most. Yourself before the one you are living with. You can’t put your personal life out in the public and not expect people to comment on it. You made it everyone’s business when you blogged on it. My husband and I have been married for 26 year and we have been where you are - no job -. Because of that we lived with our children, lost our car , our home, our pet, had to move away from both sides of our family. All of that just make our marriage stronger. The key is that we was married which is a greater commitment than just living together . We was ok (not easy) with losing everything and starting over again because we had each other . By the way we was 45&46 , my husband is a teacher and I have always been a housewife. When you are married you have the comment that you know you will be together thorough the good and bad. Therefore when you have to work long hour and don’t see each other ( it sucks big time) you know that it is just for a sort time and you have the rest of your life together. Good luck.

What good is the "freedom" of the bike if you can't use it?  How many trips or even weekend get-aways have you gone on it in the past month?  Past two months?  Since you got it?

There is a difference between being "grown up" and being an "adult".  Being grown up means that you can make your own decisions.  Being an adult means that you make decisions that you don't like, but you know are needed.

The bike is a luxury.  Don't kid yourself into thinking that it is anything else.  You don't need it. 

If you want to get a handle on your finances and be able to get a home, you need to get rid of every payment that you don't need.  Luxury items go first.  Then pay off credit cards.  Think of how much faster you could pay off your credit card if you didn't have the bike?  The payment you're making is as much as a new car payment.  The bike is worth more than both of the other cars that you own.  Does the bike seriously seem like a logical thing to keep and make payments on?

The truth is that you are making payments on something that you can't afford.  You need to live within your means.  Working 2 jobs will help, but it's only a band-aid to your spending habits.  If you want to be financially secure, you can't pay for luxury items until you can afford them.  If you are working 2 jobs just to pay for the bike, when are you going to ride it?  How does it remain "fun"?

Ziggy: I'd listen to LW, she's got really sound advice. Wish I had gone to her instead of forking out $20 for Suze Orman's "Young, Fabulous and Broke," because she has essentially said the exact same thing.

LoL, that will be $19.99 please.

well, see, I'd love to pay you--but I've cut out all unnecessary expenses in order to pay off my credit cards

Why did you post this article, then? You have a definite way to contribute: take the two jobs and sell the bike. Are you too good to be working like that? Too smart? Too educated? Are you too precious to be away from your girlfriend? I think you're being far too sensitive in your decision-making. You must do what it takes.

lol i think that if I was too smart, too educated and all of that haughty stuff you are saying...then I wouldnt have applied at those places. I applied at two, and was planning on applying at two others. Contrary to whatever you may think...I dont mind working and busting my ass. My situation is that right now....I dont know what to do and was seeking the advice from others. Just for your information, I have worked at a variety of places, family owned restaurant, grocery store, parks and rec, coal power plant, radio station, newspapers, school districts, a silly (but fun) job working as a secret shopper lol, DSL call technician...etc. So...I dont mind working, its just that with Marcie...Im placed in a situation I have never been in before. I wouldnt mind working two jobs...but that would mean less time with her and thats where the problem lies.

I dont know all that Marcie has found out from the banks...I guess that if there was an issue in getting a house or something along those lines...we probably wouldnt be looking for a one.

grr...Id type more...but im on a laptop at school and big fingers with tiny keys dont work out that well.

So...I dont mind working

I apologize for making an incorrect assumption about you. That was the impression I got from your writings, and clearly I was wrong. Again, my apologies.

I wouldnt mind working two jobs...but that would mean less time with her and thats where the problem lies

Yep, being an adult sucks.  When I was first married, my husband was coming home from work as I was leaving.  I saw him for a couple hours, then he would have to go back to work.  He also had to work every other Saturday (he still has to work some weekends).  That's the way life is.  It's not perfect.  But, you do what you have to do.  You *have* to make some decisions.  You have excuses for not selling the bike, you have excuses for not getting another job, you have lots of excuses, but no solutions to your problems.  Spending less time with each other won't kill you.  It won't even hurt your relationship.  What will hurt your relationship is when there is an unequal distribution of responsibility.  This is not the biggest hardship that the two of you will endure, so just suck it up and make a decision.