Women think men don't understand them? The lack of understanding goes both ways.
Published on January 31, 2005 By Ziggystyles In Sex & Romance
Texas Wahine, here on JU, posted this the other day and Marcie (JU: MarcieHelen) mentioned it yesterday to me and how it was soo right. Oh for the petes sake of the guy upstairs. This isnt a flame to TW...dont want it to seem that way...just a general article, in which Im using her words.

Lets shoot this down faster then a Redneck and a squirrel.

"A woman would get up with me in the morning and start breakfast while I dressed the kids or vice versa."
Why would anyone want to wake up earlier than they had to? The kids dont want to be up either, they just cant sass back.

"A woman would understand why I tried on 3 different pairs of pants and left two of them crumpled on the floor."
A woman would understand why a man would put on the first shirt he sees for going grocery shopping...without showering, and.....and.....and without combing his hair!

"A woman would want to stay in bed and snuggle and talk about places we want to visit and what our bitchy neighbor said yesterday."
Guys arent really the snuggling type. Just like most women arent the 'hey lets get under the car and change the oil, getting our hands dirty' type.

"A woman would be sympathetic about cramps . . . she might lay me down with a heating pad and a good book and bring me hot cocoa."
Guys get cramps as well. We get cramps and move on...sort of like how the big J.C. got his butt whipped and flesh torn off by many men before he was crucified....did what he needed to do and moved on because he had a job to finish....despite any chipped nails he might have had.

"A woman would call me during the day to let me know she was thinking about me, and she would appreciate it when I did the same."
My woman hasnt called me while Im at work. She obviously must not care about me if she is able to not talk to me for more than 8 hours at a stretch.

"A woman would sit on the couch with me and stroke my hair while we watched Return to Me for the seventh time that year."
A real woman would want to go to a monster truck rally, a wrestling match, or watch some kick butt man movie (which can include violence, swearing, death, guns, big fires and explosions...etc) for the first time that year.

"A woman would not complain about diet soda or veggie burgers or reduced fat cheese."
Most men are not religously obsessed with their physical appearance that they have to drastically change their lifestyle by eating certain foods. A woman shouldnt complain about eating a slice of real american cheese that has come from a real cow; and not some processed soy crap or rice curd mixture. Men want to taste their food. If this means adding an extra 100 calories a day....so be it. Flavor rules.

"A woman wouldn't make me feel guilty about the fleshy curves of my body or the fact that my arms aren't toned."
A woman also shouldnt complain about the beard her man has, or the length of his hair or his dirty hands even after he washed and scrubbed them.

"A woman would take the camera and make sure that there were pictures of me in the places that we visit and the things that we do."
A woman who wanted to have pictures of every mountain in the freaken west side of the country would bring her down flippin camera and take the pictures herself. Im not much of a picture person, so Im less likely to take a camera, and its not really on the top of my list of things to bring when I go somewhere. Oh Honey, we are going to Ghetto fab Wal-Mart, the dream of so many lower class families to work at and shop at a place that kills small town america....lets take our camera!

"A woman would appreciate a house filled with the smell of a Clean Cotton Yankee candle."
A man appreciates a house filled with the smell of sweat as if he just got home from a job where he worked his ass off and earned his money. A man also likes the smell of burnt toast, grease, and diesel exhaust.

"A woman would tell me I'm beautiful and reassure me constantly because she would understand the importance of that."
When the heck was the last time my woman called me handsome? Do I care? No. She obvisouly likes me for much more than my looks, and loves me for what is inside my ugly man body. Which by the way, happens to be very Italian (Marcie....this is for you.......ROWR!)

"A woman would not be put off or angered by me showing emotion."
A man should not be put down when he doesnt express emotion all the time and then gets shot down when he finally does.

"A woman would understand why I need more than one pair of black high heeled shoes."
A man only has what he needs at most and he uses reasoning behind his choices: a pair for dress (church), a pair for walking, and maybe a pair for work. Not a pair for walking the dog on rainy days, dry days, rainy days that become dry days, days where I just dont care, days where I do care, but dont want to look like I do, days where I want to look beautiful in the house alone...etc.

"A woman would want to talk."
Men talk...women just dont listen that quickly. Mainly because we say what needs to be said, and thats it. I talk to my dad on the phone....and its like this: "hello....yeah...hey....yeah...not bad....not really, she is on bed rest...yeah....yeah...makes me grade level chair....yeah I know, scary....yeah....really? when? That would be nice for the town for sure....yeah....not much else going on down here either, yeah....yep....ok...next week....ok...bye."

Phone call with my mom: "hello...yeah....ye.....y.....wh....who? wh....Mom.....I.......wa.....m......M........ahhh......ok.........m....mom.....Im trying.....mom.............ca.....can..........Id like to.....can....can I say someth..............ok........yeah....you too....bye"

"A woman would make sure I knew that I was special and the only one for her."
A man usually thinks that by having one woman in his life where he spends most of his time with her and has stuck with her....he thinks that is a good way of showing she is the only one. How that sign is not picked up....beyond me.

"A woman would "get" me . . ."
A woman would "get" a guy too.

"*sigh*"
*sigh*

Comments (Page 1)
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on Jan 31, 2005
Bring on the flames.
on Jan 31, 2005
My woman hasnt called me while Im at work. She obviously must not care about me if she is able to not talk to me for more than 8 hours at a stretch.


We work at the same school. What a wonder. Dork.

Guys arent really the snuggling type. Just like most women arent the 'hey lets get under the car and change the oil, getting our hands dirty' type.


Yeah. Fully understand that. But we like to snuggle...that's why I crawled into bed with you five times this morning...to no avail.

A real woman would want to go to a monster truck rally, a wrestling match, or watch some kick butt man movie (which can include violence, swearing, death, guns, big fires and explosions...etc) for the first time that year.


You're so dead, babe. lol

A man appreciates a house filled with the smell of sweat as if he just got home from a job where he worked his ass off and earned his money. A man also likes the smell of burnt toast, grease, and diesel exhaust.


I understand that you like burning things...you do it on a daily basis...but...you don't sweat at work. What are you talking about? lol

When the heck was the last time my woman called me handsome? Do I care? No. She obvisouly likes me for much more than my looks, and loves me for what is inside my ugly man body. Which by the way, happens to be very Italian (Marcie....this is for you.......ROWR!)


Yes, my hairy Italien man...I do love you for what's inside...but I love what's outside, too! Even if I do have to cut your toenails if I don't want to have gashes on my legs. And I call you cute and studly...maybe not handsome...but I let you know...right?

A man usually thinks that by having one woman in his life where he spends most of his time with her and has stuck with her....he thinks that is a good way of showing she is the only one. How that sign is not picked up....beyond me.


Does this mean you're in love with Betty, your wonder computer? Just checking.

I love you babe. You're the best.
on Jan 31, 2005



Guys arent really the snuggling type. Just like most women arent the 'hey lets get under the car and change the oil, getting our hands dirty' type.


Yeah. Fully understand that. But we like to snuggle...that's why I crawled into bed with you five times this morning...to no avail.


Im sorry, I was too busy....sleeping...every time you came in!
on Jan 31, 2005
A man usually thinks that by having one woman in his life where he spends most of his time with her and has stuck with her....he thinks that is a good way of showing she is the only one. How that sign is not picked up....beyond me.


Well, I appreciate what you're doing here . .. cute and all . . . but the thing you should know about me, and my mindset when I wrote mine, is that my husband had an affair and now the fate of our marriage is very much up in the air.
on Jan 31, 2005
Now I can't say I much agree with a lot of your article... but......

Phone call with my mom: "hello...yeah....ye.....y.....wh....who? wh....Mom.....I.......wa.....m......M........ahhh......ok.........m....mom.....Im trying.....mom.............ca.....can..........Id like to.....can....can I say someth..............ok........yeah....you too....bye"


SOOOOOOOOOOOO true... I can't stop laughing at that...
on Jan 31, 2005
TW,
Sorry to hear that....affairs suck. Hoping you two can stick it through (if thats what you want).

Also, wasnt trying to be cute. Was being truthful. For most men, one woman works. For some...for whatever WRONG reason they have in their minds, they have to go outside the boundaries of marriage.

The problem here is that, which I pointed out using humor...which happens to be truthful humor....both sides have problems. In all my life, I have never heard a woman say "Im really looking forward to doing something that he enjoys doing that I hate," and I have never heard a man say "Boy, Howdy! I can't wait to go home and watch back-to-back episodes of TLC's Trading Spaces!" Both sides think they are right, and both sides are incredibly wrong.

All I hear is "They dont understand this, they dont want to do that, they wont take me to this place, blah blah blah" It comes from both sides of the fence. This is a selfishness issue. We always think of ourselves and not the other person. "They never snuggle, they never eat tofu, they never light candles on the first anniversary of the day I had a bloody nose after I got out of surgery....me me me me me." Im always asking Marcie "wanna go Go Cart riding, want to go out for Chinese, want to drive a big ass U-haul truck, want to eat ribs, want to drive through the mountains, want to drive at night, want to talk to me about whatever I did wrong that I obvisouly did wrong that I dont know what I did wrong was...etc" The answer is usually no. Except for Chinese, but I think she is doing that just to make me shut up because she knows I like it. But I will never know unless I ask her. So I ask, and ask and ask. I ask because I want to include her on the things that I like doing and that I think she might like.

Its not about you, but its about both of you.
on Jan 31, 2005
You know what . . . you don't know me . . . I was very good to my husband . . . just because I outlined what I want does not mean that I did not reciprocate. When he was home, I rubbed his shoulders and enouraged him and brought him Dr. Peppers while he played video games . . . I cooked him chicken terriyaki because he loves it even though I can't eat it . . . I watched South Park and downed Heinekens with him . . . I gave him blowjobs on the couch . . . I'm not a perfect wife, but I tried very hard to please him . . . I always let him know how much admired him and how into him I was . . . I understand perfectly that it's about both of us . . .
on Jan 31, 2005
HA HA HA HA HA!!!
on Jan 31, 2005
Tex...

I'm going to step in here. He wasn't insinuating anything about you or your marriage. That was not his intent at all. His intent was to say to EVERYONE that maybe we could be a little more considerate and aware of each other's needs.

At least...I think that's what he was trying to say. At any rate, he wasn't being spiteful or mean, he was just trying to do a macho man's take on the subject.
on Jan 31, 2005

A man usually thinks that by having one woman in his life where he spends most of his time with her and has stuck with her....he thinks that is a good way of showing she is the only one. How that sign is not picked up....beyond me.


my advice is start shoppin now for a. the motel where youre gonna be stayin 5-8 years from the date you get married.   b. a good marriage counselor.   c. some phonesex chix to visit your motel room

that attitude is exactly the reason your wife is gonna find someone who dont assume she wants to pick up signs...and the biggest reason marriages break up

on Jan 31, 2005
Im Cute!
on Jan 31, 2005
Above MarcieHelen "Im Cute!" Post was by me...she didnt sign out.

My attitude isnt against women. I dont assume that I want her to pick up signs. My being around her all the time, telling her I love her, going to church together, building our relationship up together...listening to her when she cries, listening when she says I did something...those are all signs (no matter how you twist them into my assuming she can pick that up) that I love her and want to be with her. She knows I love her, and I think her only issue is the fact that I havent proposed yet, but that in itself is another blog entirely. Do I need to get a flipping bulletin board on the interstate saying how much I love her every five miles? No. I am hoping that the simple fact that I am around her constantly, and willing to be with her the rest of my life would be taken as one, of MANY, signs that I love her beyond everything else.

TW, Listen to Marcie. But I wasnt really trying to take a macho approach towards it either. I was taking it from a guys perspective. Some people don't understand. And while you go on here and post what you think guys dont understand or cant 'get', I did the same thing and got blasted for it.
Girl does one thing from her perspective, guy does same thing from his perspective, girl is ok....guy is in the craphouse. WTF?
on Jan 31, 2005
Bring on the flames.


Umm . . OK . . yeah, WTF . . . you didn't anticipate or plan for that, did you?

Look, I really don't want to "blast you" . . . what I want you to understand is that what you are doing is hurtful to me. You may think that what you are saying is coming across clearly, but when I see you picking apart my article, and insinuating that I am this selfish woman that only cares about her own desires and feelings or that has unreasonable demands, I feel hurt because I am a very giving partner and have worked so hard to save my marriage despite the obstacles (which are very, very painful). It may not be the message you intended, but that's the way it came across to me. I don't have any ill will toward you . . . not in the slightest . . . but your article was particularly hurtful to me considering what I am going through right now. You have every right to write it . . . I just want you to know what it said to me.
on Jan 31, 2005
I'm not going to flame you, ziggy. I am going to tell you that you aren't being very original -- point whoring should at least possess a modicum of original thought. I think if you had made it a generalised post, that would be one thing, but calling somebody out by name makes it personal. See? I doubt you'll give a damn about any of it, but I thought I'd say something since that's one of my best friends you're calling out.

Cheers.
on Jan 31, 2005
Writing from school.

TW,
Thanks for the reply again and I appreciate it. I wasnt trying to come across like that at all. Ask Marcie...I have this way of saying things which somehow manage to get me in trouble and I apologize for causing any hurt.

Myrrander,
Open your eyes. "TEXAS WAHINE, here on JU, POSTED THIS THE OTHER DAY and Marcie (JU: MarcieHelen) mentioned it yesterday to me and how it was soo right. Oh for the petes sake of the guy upstairs. THIS ISNT A FLAME TO TW...DONT WANT IT TO SEEM THAT WAY...just a general article, in which Im using her words."
#1. Point out to the people in JU, that I did not write this article and that TW did, so I make it clear that it is not my original work. I wasn't calling her out by name.
#2. Make a generalized list? I went down a list that was already there, in which itself was not generalized.
#3. Point whoring? How can I reply to her post or make one of my own using her ideas....and using my own words without using her original writing to use as a backdrop to compare (not contrast) to? I know that sounds weird...read it again. How Can i make a post, using her thoughts, without using her thoughts to compare to.
#4. My original thought was in my writing.
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