Your Job, what would you do?

Do you suck up; or stand up for yourself?

Published on May 11, 2005 By Ziggystyles In Life Journals

Ill admit...Im the kind of person who really doesnt want to tick off his boss. There are some people who probably have no prob with telling their boss off...Im just not that kind of person. Im also not the kind, however, that wants to get his boss mad...so Ill do a small amount of kissing butt to make sure I stay on the good side.

Today, I was called in for a meeting...Im not going to go into details about what the meeting was about...but it was a result of a surprise walk through my principal and asst. principal did the day before we had some district big wigs come to school.

I went into the meeting to go over what they wanted to talk about...but to me at the time, and 13 hours later...Im still feeling stressed out about it and it seemed like I was getting attacked. Things were said in there that pretty much put me down and insulted me. I started off with saying "yes yes yes, I understand"...then they kept going and I felt like I was just getting attacked left and right because they were going over things that havent been mentioned to me before and then I just sat back and gave up. Finally..they started...not directly insulting me...but thats how it came across to me...by saying things that werent true. Thats when I just sat up and laid it out and said 'No...thats not right...this is what happened."

I mean...I can understand them chewing me out if I did something stupid...and that is what this meeting was based on...so I did deserve it to a extent...but when it went beyond that...how much should you take? Some people I talk to say to keep sucking up and say "yes sir, yes sir...how much more do you want me to bend over sir?" To me...Ill agree and try to stay on their good side and agree with them, if its warranted, but when they start crossing the line...that is where I start to get defensive. To me, I dont think its acceptable to let them start saying things about me thats not true...and expect me to just take it and not say anything back. My self pride is more important; and I need to stand up for myself. Im not the best teacher in the world...I just started, but when things are said about me that is not true...I will not stand for that at all. Some people say not to do that, not to defend yourself because you are arguing with them. I dont think of it as arguing...but stating my point which is my perception of the truth.

How much would you take?"

Comments

island_gurl12

on May 12, 2005

I always argue with my boss. When he's right I'll admit it. But when he's wrong i'll make a detailed report of my work and he'll see that i'm right.
I dont kiss ass. The relationship is from equal to equal really, i'm lucky i have a great boss who listens and doesnt take himself too seriously.

MarcieMoo

on May 12, 2005

Really? Our boss has no business being a boss. He knows what he, and the rest of us should be doing, but it's only enforced a day or so before his boss comes. And that's crap, and you and I and just about everyone else that doesn't lick his butthole know it. Frankly, I'm terrified of those people that do lick his butthole, and I try to stay away from them. One of his cronies has been particularly friendly to me lately and it freakin scares me half to death...I just want her to go away.

He's been in your room for a total of 5 minutes. He has absolutely NO clue whatsoever of what happens in there at all. He's not doing his job at all. He pushes it all of on his assistant, as you well know, and really, his only topic for the meeting should have missing the staff meeting on Monday, and that's it, because DH is your supervisor.

Really? I really really really really really think you should call the union and just have them take notes for you. Bring your next-door neighbor in with you or someone else you trust if they ever corner you again. It's two against one. If you would have brought in that union rep today...think about how different that meeting would have been. It's your job and you need to cover YOUR ass. At least write down your side of the story and save it on your computer if this happens to come back to kick your butt...

ParaTed2k

on May 12, 2005

It's interesting to me that people kiss up to their bosses because they think that will save them when the ax hits the chopping block. I guess it works sometimes, but I really don't remember the last time I saw the kiss ups gain any real advantage over the folks that just do their job and do it well.

It's like kiss ups think that bosses don't know their kissing up. I don't know much about the dynamics of the teacher/principal relationship, but when I've been in leadership positions, I remember times when a few of us leaders would talk about the "kiss ups" who worked for us... We always made fun of them....

Standing up for yourself is risky, but does anyone respect people who don't respect themselves?

MasonM

on May 12, 2005

In my experience kissing up doesn't pay off for long. People respect someone who stands up for themself. Diplomacy and tact are often needed, but that isn't the same as laying down and taking it.

I am the first the admit when I screw up and will take my lumps for it, but no way would I put up with heat for things I didn't do. I've never been a brown noser and never will be and I have always had the respect of the people I have worked with. And when working in management/supervision, I couldn't stand the brown nosers.

Dynosoar

on May 12, 2005

Just one of the many reasons my teaching career lasted all of one semester was the idiots in admin..

I admit, I've been self employeed too long to work for others, but these clowns actually believed the crap they were shovelling....

Stand your ground, document everything, and do not ever go to another "meeting" alone.

Good Luck, there's a special place in heaven for teachers, and as I've stated before, I just don't belong there.

joeblog

on Jul 18, 2005

Every time you "take it" and do nothing you're giving a small piece of your self esteem away. When you're right, stand your ground. When you're wrong, be the adult and say " I know that was wrong, and this is what I'll do from now on to correct it." If they don't take their teeth out of you after that, they're not superiors, or even equals. They're less than the dirt under your fingernails after a day of gardening. It becomes self aggrandizing on their part to see who can put you down the best and talk it over later when you're not around. All that does is diminish their opinion of you in the long run, and who wants a job with those kind of benefits? My wife told me something a long time ago that's stuck in my head and comes up every time I'm taking it for someone elses perception of wrong. It's simply this: "if you let them get to you, they will."

No matter what you do in life, there is always someone bigger than you that you have to answer to, even when you die. Personal integrity is the most potent weapon you possess. Don't give it to anyone.

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